Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
