I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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