I hope mine doesn't look like that
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
