if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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