how can u be prego again
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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