So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
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Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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