I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
