member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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