I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
