:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
