i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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