Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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