Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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