I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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