Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
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is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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