It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize