Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
