You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize