Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
