The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The uberlube is also flammable
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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