Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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