Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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