playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
