well most of my day revolves around power hour
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
