Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
