My Higher Power is John Stamos
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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