Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
