apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
