I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
