I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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