Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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