I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
