I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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