Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
