stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
