HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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