She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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