Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
