My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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