I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
