just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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