Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
