I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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