xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
