hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
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It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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