Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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