Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I party with great urgency now.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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