Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize