i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
