Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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