She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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