I wish I could punch you in the face.
Porn is love you can see.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
