that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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