Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
