some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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