I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
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Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats