How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.