Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  You want to go to a white party at LAX

  (1-510): View more from California

  Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach

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  (510): You want to go to a white party at LAX (1-510): Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach http://tfl.nu/866u
  Replies (14) Good night (1062) Bad night (2234)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  condoms and good judgment

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Can I buy both of those at the same store?

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  (614): Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice? (1-614): condoms and good judgment (614): Can I buy both of those at the same store? http://tfl.nu/qy9b
  Replies (0) Good night (4124) Bad night (709)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".

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  (843): she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights". http://tfl.nu/6efw
  Replies (10) Good night (6413) Bad night (1011)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.

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  (570): i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off. http://tfl.nu/1gub
  Replies (56) Good night (800) Bad night (5802)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.

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  (614): every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with. http://tfl.nu/j96s
  Replies (11) Good night (1410) Bad night (3135)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.

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  (970): I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive. http://tfl.nu/p82j
  Replies (4) Good night (2381) Bad night (1510)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week

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  (+44): He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week http://tfl.nu/00sr
  Replies (13) Good night (1391) Bad night (4001)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.

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  (210): I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now. http://tfl.nu/26wy
  Replies (9) Good night (848) Bad night (1934)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  (832): You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you" http://tfl.nu/nnn7
  Replies (1) Good night (2563) Bad night (825)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

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  (715): Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration. http://tfl.nu/envu
  Replies (4) Good night (1424) Bad night (516)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao

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  (214): Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao http://tfl.nu/k098
  Replies (5) Good night (1096) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.

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  (720): Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage. http://tfl.nu/0rvw
  Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (656)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.

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  (801): You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it. http://tfl.nu/4jnb
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (338)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.

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  (716): I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender. http://tfl.nu/johq
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate

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  (972): I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate http://tfl.nu/d9si
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (612)

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