dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.