Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
