No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
